Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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