Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
