My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
God, I missed his penis.
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