your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
