Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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