i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
