theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
