He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
