Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
