Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
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Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
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Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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