I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
