I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
