Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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