What a fucking waste of an outfit
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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