it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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