U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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