Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
