bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Randomize
