its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
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My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I have tasted many bathrooms
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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