i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
