This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
