They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
