Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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