Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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