is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
