Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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