the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
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Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
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omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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