i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
