i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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