I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
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