Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize