My brain says no but my pants say off.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
