Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
