so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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