Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize