my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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