Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
look no pants
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
