I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize