thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
