WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
he fucked my hip out of place.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
