Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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