He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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