I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
