i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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