she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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