I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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