Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
