he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
