A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
