What a fucking waste of an outfit
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
