fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize