that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
