she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
