is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
