Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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