make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm both gender and math confused
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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