I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize