So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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