that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
