Duck Duck Cougar?
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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