You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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