something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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